私と同性愛とマイノリティー

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アメリカ全州で同性婚が承認されたというニュースがありました．

自分が初めて同性愛の子と親しくなったのは大学２年のときでした．物理のクラスの実験パートナーだった女の子で，一緒にレポート書いてたら突然 I am queer って言うんですよね．queer ってのが意味がわからなかったので，その場で辞書で調べたら「同性愛者」って書いてありました．それまで同性愛という概念にあまり触れたこともなく，だからなのか驚くこともなく，あ，そうなんだね，と反応しました．辞書を引いてワンクッションあったからかもしれません．まだ２回目くらいの授業後で，お互い親しいわけでもなかったんですが，彼女にとって非常に個人的なことを何故だかいきなり教えてくれて，本当ならもっと驚くことだったのかもしれません．辞書を引いたりして，少し間が抜けていたと思います．後々に少しずつわかっていったことには，その子は若干繊細なところがあり，おそらくマイノリティーとしての悩みを持っていたのだと思います．

２度目は大学院生のときでした．アジア系のかわいい女の子で，近くの寮に住んでいて，よく一緒にご飯を作ったりしていました．初めて会ったときはボーイフレンドがいたのですが，ある時に別れたと話していました．じゃあ自分もチャンスあるかもな，と思っているうちに I am gay と教えてくれました．ある程度の英語は理解できましたが，gay が女性の同性愛を指すのにも使われるのを初めて知りました．この時は少し驚いたのですが（だって彼女のボーイフレンドとも会ってたし），私が深入りする前に伝えようという優しさだったのかもしれません．その後も仲の良い友人として，彼女に新しいガールフレンドができたときには３人で食事をすることもありました．

アメリカは日本よりも性的指向を口にしやすい雰囲気がありそうで，同性愛の話は頻繁に耳にしました．華奢でオシャレな友人の日本人男性は，外見を好まれて男性に言い寄られることもあったようでした．もっさりした男性の私から見れば，相手が同性でも異性でも，見た目が他者への訴求力を持つなんてうらやましいと思いました．いずれにせよ，自分と性的指向が違えば断るし，一方で他人のそれは尊重する，というスタンスの人が多かったかと思います．アメリカ全土というより留学先のボストンという土地柄もあったかもしれません．

ところで，今回の話は「性的指向の話」であるのだけど，もう少し広い意味での「マイノリティーの話」も関連していると思いました．確認したわけではないのですが，英語も不十分な外国人の私に対して個人的な話を共有してくれたのは，おそらく私のマイノリティーとしての立ち位置と，それに伴う悩みのようなものが彼女たちにも見えていたんじゃないかと思うのです．それゆえに自身の境遇と関連付けられたので，話しやすかったのだと思いました．個人的な感想を言えば，彼女たちが私のことを，個人的なストーリーを共有するに足る相手だと思ってくれたことが本当に嬉しいです．それは私が留学生として外国人として，滞在した場所でマイノリティーであることを通して，他者への想像力を多少なりとも持てたからじゃないかと思いました．もしそうならば今後もそうありたいと思います．

自分は LGBT の問題に対して興味を持っていた，なんて到底言えませんが，性的指向についてマイノリティだったことで苦しんでいた友人がいました．だからお手軽にアイコンを虹色にするお祭りに参加するのも良いけど，自分の限られた経験を淡々と書いて，当事者として長らくこの問題に向き合ってきた人への敬意を示したいと思いました．アメリカ全州で同性婚が承認されたことは素晴らしい判断だと思います．自分が知るだけでも何人もの友人，同級生，同僚が喜ぶのが思い浮かびます．大きな変化の一歩目を踏み出したアメリカですが，日本でも一過性の手軽なファッションや流行りに留まらず，必要な議論が深まることを願っています．

最後にもう一度，マイノリティーであることについて，です．自分一人で社会の全ての問題意識を当事者としてカバーし，理解し，共感することなんて，土台無理な話です．それでも自分が当事者として何かの弱い立場にいるのなら，他者が別の弱い立場にいることも想像できる，そんな様でありたいと思っています．社会のマジョリティなら悩まないけど，マイノリティになると苦しむようなことは，世の中には少なくないと思います．マイノリティに優しい社会は，すなわち人に優しい社会だと思うのです．

※ 文中では個人がわからないように表現しました．

72 thoughts on “私と同性愛とマイノリティー”

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