表現欲を書きたてる

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疲れて帰宅して，あまり頭が回らずにメールを書いてたら，友人への返信に「その人は，若いシュッとしたイケメン風の方ですか？」みたいな返信を書いて，そのまま送っていました．受け取った方は情報量の低さに困惑するだろうとメールを読み直して反省したのですが，疲れていると表現力が落ちると実感しました．そんな言葉を雑に使っているエピソードに矛盾するようですが，私は概して言葉が好きで，文章を書くのも好きです．外国語が好きですし，日本語に限っても，Blogを書いたり，Facebookなどで諧謔を弄することがありますが，日本語で表現することや，日本語で表現されるものが好きなのだと思います．

私の日本語は少しクセがあると思っています．自己分析によると，読み手の前提に関わらず同じ理解をして欲しいと思うために，理屈っぽく，やや冗長で， self-contained な文章を書きたがる傾向がある気がします．以前日本人の先輩に就職活動用の日本語を直してもらった際には，とりわけ簡潔さなどにおいて，自分の文章との違いが明確になったと感じたことがありました．

他にも自分の言語能力が弱い部分を自覚しており，特に風景や外貌を言語で描写する能力が弱いと感じています．以前友人に指摘されたのは，私がきれいな女性を形容する時に使用する語彙に「素敵な」以外のバリエーションがない，ということでした．まあこれは友人の話の起伏上，誇張もあるでしょうが，大まかな傾向としては自己分析に合致しています．男性に対してはもう少し雑になっており，「イケメンの」「シュッとした」を未定義で使用して，それ以上に細分化された語彙がありません．それら２つの言葉はほぼ同じものを指すので「モレあり，カブリあり」(Mutually Overlapping, Collectively Overlooking; MOCO) のモーソーになっています．仮に私が「今度シュッとしたイケメンを紹介するよ」と言ったら「今度，男性，つまり男の人を紹介するよ」くらいの意味に理解頂ければ，後々がっかりすることはないでしょう．

まとめると私は，男性，女性，動物，微生物なども含め，外見を的確に表現する形容詞や表現力に乏しいです．一方で感情の描写や思考の記述などに関しては（やや冗長になることは否めないですが）さほど表現力が不足しているとは思いません．なので，これはそもそも表現欲をかきたてる対象が自分にとって何か，という根本的な価値観に由来する問題なのかもしれません．自分でもよくわかっていないのですが，もしかしたら，外貌や風景は視覚で補えるので言葉で表現する面白さを感じないが，感情とか考えなど目に見えないことについては，言葉を紡いで表現する面白さがある（だから，それはする），という価値観を持っているのかもしれないと思いました．同様に，味覚や嗅覚で補えることを言葉で描写することにも，考えてみたらあまり興味がないかもしれません．確かに，何々がどのように美味しいとか，その類の表現もあまり得意ではありません．

とは言いつつも，表現力と感受性には密接な関係があり，感受性が豊かになると人生がより豊かになるという仮説の下，少しずつ意識して表現力や語彙を増やしていきたいとも思っています．女性の美しさを太陽や月になぞらえる力や，ワインを一口飲んで草原と風について１分話す力です．どうしたらそのような力が向上するものでしょうか．

発散しますが，そもそも「表現すること」と「感じること」にはどのような関係にあるのでしょうか．感じられるから表現できるのか，表現できるから感じられるのか，どちらなんでしょう．そして，前述のようにそもそも「表現する必要性」があるか（あるいは「感じる必要性」があるか）が考えるべき問いなのかも．そういえば，イヌイットには「雪」を表す表現がたくさんある，何故なら雪の状態を適切に伝えることは生死に関わる大事なことだから，みたいな話を聞いたことがあります．結局のところ，必要性があるからこそ，表現が洗練されるのでしょうか．

最後は発散しましたが，総括としては，言葉を雑に使わず，感受性豊かな人生を送りたいものですね．（ややいい加減なまとめですいません．素敵な人生を！）

PS．そしてさらに言うなら，タイトルの「書きたてる」は，掛け言葉だったんですが，内容がいつの間にか「書くこと」から「表現すること」に変わっていました．ただの誤字としか思われなさそうなので，ここに追記しておきます．

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