世代が僕に追いついた

忘れられない夏

そもそも忘れようと思ったこともない。今まで忘れなかったからこれからも忘れないなんてナイーブに言えるくらい、それくらい大事な時間。

1998年8月

高校3年の夏。入会したばかりのZ会の教材を目の前の机の上に置きながら、甲子園の野球中継を見ていた。全国大会、僕も行きたかった。5月のインターハイ県予選、7月の国体最終予選、やっぱり優勝は難しい。柔道は県で優勝しないと全国大会に行けなくて、結局僕は中高の6年間で一度も全国大会に出られなかった。それは勿論、大多数のスポーツやってる高校生はそうなんだろうけど、真剣に取り組んだ分だけは悔しく感じる資格があると思っていた。僕はとても悔しかったし、テレビの中で野球やっている同い年の奴らが羨ましかった。

同じ年の初めには市川が17歳でフランス大会の一次メンバーになって、能代の田臥は高校三冠を取りNBAに行きたいって言って、もう少し経てば棟田も鈴木とかも世界選手権で優勝するし、朝青龍だって横綱になってるし、同い年にはとにかくすごいヤツらがたくさん。野球やってる奴らは、地元の強打者古木、多分昔はピッチャーだった村田、ノーヒットノーランした杉内、上重、寺本、名前がカッコいい新垣渚、名前がそのままの藤川球児、他にも他にも、更にそいつらを全て撃破した松坂大輔。そう、松坂世代、そんな言い方されてたなあ。

甲子園。ベスト8、準決勝、松坂がカッコいい。延長17回とか、やたらカッコいい。松坂が出ると逆転する。決勝。ノーヒットノーランで決勝戦に勝つ。最強。将来はメジャーリーグに行きたいなんて言ってやがる。説得力あるじゃんか。同い年なのに。

何かカッコ悪いなあー、僕。同い年なのに。

迷い

大学進学、どうしよう。

目標がはっきり定まらない。周りの雰囲気に流されて学部を決めてしまうことになりそうな自分を心配していた。多分、僕はその頃自分が医学部に進学するのではないかと思ってた。人を助けるのは良い事だし、やりがいのある仕事だろうし、人に喜んでもらえれば嬉しいし、だから医者になるのは悪い選択ではないって思ってた。それはそうなんだろうけど、だけど、それは自分の考えだったのか、自分の考えだと思い込んでいたのか。

また、松坂が言ってる。メジャーに行きたいって。

松坂がカッコ良かったのは、将来の目標がはっきりしていて、それに迷いがなく、さらにその目標に着実に進んでいるように見えたから。僕がカッコ悪く思えたのは、将来の目標が定まっていなくて、それ故に何も行動に移せなくて、そんな状況が情けなかったから。目標が欲しかった。自分を納得させられる目標、そして確固とした目標に進むための覚悟、覚悟から生まれる没頭、そして自信。

目標

僕は松坂を目標にした。松坂よりも先にメジャーリーグに入ることを目標とした。スポーツ医学を勉強して、メジャーリーグのチームドクターになりたい。じゃあ、大学はアメリカに行って、スポーツ医学を勉強しよう。

その決断に至る葛藤の詳細は文字になる程覚えていないし、結論だけ見ると短絡的で思慮浅い。決断に用いた情報の量には限りがあったし、今振り返れば選択肢だって最善のものではないかもしれない。ただ、その時の僕に一番大事だったことは、自分で決めた決断だという自負があったこと。その自負は自分を覚悟させるには十分で、それは心地よく、それだけで次に進むことができた。

2006年11月

松坂がボストンに来るかもしれない、と言うニュースを聞いた。

僕は8年前に松坂を見て、アメリカに来た。時間が変わって、場所が変わって、僕が目指すものが変わって、もうメジャーリーグには入らない。でも、8年前に僕を鼓舞してくれた奴が、僕の住む街にやってくるとしたら、それは感慨深い。あまつさえ、世代が僕に追いついた、なんて言ってみたくなって、ちょっと調子に乗ったと恥かしげな気持ちになる。

僕が今ここにいて、今やっていることに至る、そして今を支えてくれている、同級生であり、家族であり、友達であり、縁があって僕に影響を与えた人達の事を思うと、それはそれは感慨深い。

85 thoughts on “世代が僕に追いついた”

  1. Good post. I study one thing tougher on totally different blogs everyday. It can at all times be stimulating to read content material from different writers and practice just a little something from their store. I抎 favor to use some with the content on my blog whether you don抰 mind. Natually I抣l provide you with a hyperlink on your web blog. Thanks for sharing.

  2. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive learn anything like this before. So good to search out any person with some authentic ideas on this subject. realy thanks for starting this up. this web site is something that is needed on the web, someone with slightly originality. useful job for bringing one thing new to the web!

  3. Youre so cool! I dont suppose Ive read anything like this before. So nice to seek out anyone with some original ideas on this subject. realy thanks for starting this up. this website is something that’s needed on the web, someone with somewhat originality. useful job for bringing something new to the web!

  4. An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing a little bit evaluation on this. And he the truth is purchased me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! However yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading extra on this topic. If possible, as you become expertise, would you mind updating your weblog with extra particulars? It’s extremely helpful for me. Huge thumb up for this blog submit!

  5. I抦 impressed, I must say. Actually rarely do I encounter a blog that抯 both educative and entertaining, and let me inform you, you have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is excellent; the problem is something that not sufficient individuals are speaking intelligently about. I’m very completely satisfied that I stumbled across this in my seek for one thing referring to this.

  6. Can I just say what a aid to seek out somebody who really is aware of what theyre speaking about on the internet. You positively know the right way to deliver a difficulty to gentle and make it important. More people must read this and perceive this facet of the story. I cant imagine youre no more fashionable since you undoubtedly have the gift.

  7. Needed to put you one very small note to be able to thank you as before for your awesome views you’ve contributed in this article. It has been so unbelievably generous of people like you to deliver openly precisely what many of us could possibly have distributed for an e book to help make some money on their own, chiefly given that you might have done it in the event you considered necessary. Those concepts in addition worked as the good way to be certain that other individuals have similar interest similar to my own to realize lots more concerning this condition. I know there are several more pleasant situations up front for people who look into your site.

  8. Aw, this was a very nice post. In thought I would like to put in writing like this additionally ?taking time and precise effort to make a very good article?however what can I say?I procrastinate alot and not at all appear to get something done.

  9. Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thank you Nonetheless I am experiencing challenge with ur rss . Don抰 know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anyone getting similar rss drawback? Anyone who knows kindly respond. Thnkx

  10. Once I originally commented I clicked the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I get 4 emails with the identical comment. Is there any method you may take away me from that service? Thanks!

  11. There are some fascinating points in time in this article but I don抰 know if I see all of them middle to heart. There may be some validity but I’ll take maintain opinion till I look into it further. Good article , thanks and we want extra! Added to FeedBurner as properly

  12. I抦 impressed, I need to say. Really hardly ever do I encounter a blog that抯 each educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you will have hit the nail on the head. Your thought is outstanding; the problem is something that not enough people are talking intelligently about. I’m very glad that I stumbled throughout this in my search for something referring to this.

  13. Aw, this was a really nice post. In idea I want to put in writing like this moreover ?taking time and actual effort to make a very good article?however what can I say?I procrastinate alot and not at all appear to get one thing done.

  14. The following time I read a weblog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as much as this one. I mean, I do know it was my option to learn, but I really thought youd have one thing fascinating to say. All I hear is a bunch of whining about one thing that you can fix in the event you werent too busy on the lookout for attention.

  15. I used to be more than happy to search out this internet-site.I wished to thanks to your time for this excellent learn!! I positively having fun with each little bit of it and I have you bookmarked to check out new stuff you weblog post.

  16. Aw, this was a really nice post. In thought I wish to put in writing like this additionally ?taking time and precise effort to make a very good article?but what can I say?I procrastinate alot and on no account seem to get something done.

  17. There are certainly a variety of particulars like that to take into consideration. That may be a nice level to bring up. I supply the ideas above as normal inspiration however clearly there are questions like the one you convey up the place the most important thing will be working in trustworthy good faith. I don?t know if best practices have emerged round things like that, but I am positive that your job is clearly recognized as a fair game. Both boys and girls really feel the influence of only a moment抯 pleasure, for the rest of their lives.

  18. I found your blog web site on google and check a few of your early posts. Proceed to maintain up the superb operate. I simply further up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Reader. Searching for forward to reading extra from you later on!?

  19. Oh my goodness! an amazing article dude. Thanks Nevertheless I’m experiencing situation with ur rss . Don抰 know why Unable to subscribe to it. Is there anybody getting an identical rss drawback? Anybody who is aware of kindly respond. Thnkx

  20. After research a number of of the weblog posts on your website now, and I really like your method of blogging. I bookmarked it to my bookmark web site checklist and can be checking back soon. Pls take a look at my website as effectively and let me know what you think.

Leave a Reply to miya Cancel reply